After taking part in the work , I read some books in my spare time , The above scenes can be found through psychology , Neurobiology and other related knowledge , At the same time, we can use this knowledge to make some improvements . So the following is an attempt to analyze this scene through psychology , At the same time, some improvement methods are put forward .

before this , We need to add some background .

1. Cerebral “ yearn ” Will drive us to do what makes us happy

Imagine a scene : You are a college student at this time , During the holidays , You find that you were too degenerate in school before ( All night games , Crazy about American dramas , Skipping classes ), I usually spend little time on my studies , So that in the final exam had to rush crazy , Even so , But still hang up high numbers . So be determined to change during the holidays , Study hard in the new term , Set yourself a goal for the final exam Scholarship . finally , The new term begins , It's time to welcome your new college life .

In order to achieve the goal of the final Scholarship , You know you need to study hard every day , At least I have to go to the study room to study in the evening . At dinner , Make up your mind to study advanced mathematics tonight ( Where to fall , Where to get up ). When I come back to my dorm after dinner , Habitually turn on the computer , I found that my American TV series had been updated , I have to see , It turns out that it's almost ten o'clock , It's time to wash and sleep . You feel guilty at this time , I feel that I have no self-control , So I decided tomorrow morning 5 Get up at half past nine to read and study ...

The above scenes are still fresh in my mind , This is a little episode in my college life .

There's one in our brains “ The reward system ”, When the brain finds opportunities for reward , Will release “ dopamine ”, Dopamine tells us what we need to pay attention to , How to get it . A lot of dopamine doesn't make you happy , It's more like an incentive . We'll wake up with a start , be fascinated . At this stage , We feel that we have found a way to be happy , And willing to work hard to get this feeling .

Above excerpts from 《 Self-control 》 Chapter five of . Here's our brain “ yearn ” The biological mechanism of , Notice here , Dopamine controls action , Not happiness . For us humans , Anything that makes us happy stimulates our reward system , for example : Delicious food , The smile of a sexy stranger and so on . So why is our brain like this ? This is actually a gift from the God of evolution , This mechanism ensures that we strive to get food 、 Try to attract the opposite sex , Only in this way can we ensure the survival and continuity of the race . It's just that this mechanism is not adapted to modern life , Because food is very easy to get right now . In this case, dopamine just makes you fatter .

Empathy , This mechanism will make us give in to some temptation , For example, in the scene at the beginning of the article “ Succumb to ” In American dramas .

2. Stress causes desire

Maybe you'll find out , Before we feel pressure ( Stress includes anger , sad , Self doubt , Negative emotions like anxiety ) When , More vulnerable to temptation , for example : When you're not happy , I really want to eat . Why is that ?

This is actually a self-protection mechanism of the brain . The brain doesn't just protect our lives , Also want to maintain our mood ( It's our instinct to be happy ). So when you feel stressed , The brain goes into a reward seeking state . As long as the brain is connected to the promise of reward , We're going to yearn for this reward ( Dopamine ).

Here we need to pay attention to a kind of scene , When we set the next goal , But because of some external temptations , When it's not done , We feel self doubt , Depression and other pressures , This is when the brain goes into “ Looking for rewards ” The process of , And the cheapest , The quickest way to improve our mood may be the things that cause us to feel down , for example : When smokers find that they are against today's goal of quitting smoking , The most likely way to relieve stress is to take another one (So sad). It could get into a cycle , Set goals -> Against the target -> Guilt , Go against the target again .

3. Making decisions can make us happy

I learned earlier that , Depression makes it easier for us to succumb to temptation , But sometimes , It will also lead us in other directions : Make the decision to change .

for example : When you go through a whole day of depravity , In the dead of night, because of self blame , Guilt , Cause tossing and turning , lie awake all night . At this point you have to be determined to change , So set yourself goals for tomorrow , Reading all day long , Then I look forward to the scene of working hard in the study room , At this time, I feel satisfied , Falling asleep ......

researcher (Janet Polivy and C.Peter Herman) Find out , When the mood is low , It's easiest for us to decide to make a change . Making a decision is a typical instant satisfaction -- Feel good when you don't do anything .

Although it's a good thing to make a decision to change , It shows that we have a desire to change the status quo , however , Changing the status quo can't be done in a day or two , It's a gradual process , If there are too good expectations ( I hope it works quickly ), It's very likely that we are facing a merciless blow from reality , And then we're down again , And then more vulnerable to temptation , The result of this is to make a decision to change the status quo in vain .

4. What can improve the mood ?

We talked about it earlier , Dopamine just drives us to do one thing , It doesn't make us really happy .

Imagine a scene : I watched American TV all day , Finally, the ending is over , here , We just feel empty , as well as , The guilt of wasting a day . So you can see that , Dopamine is an ineffective mood improving strategy . So what can really improve our mood ?

The researchers found that , The answer is “ serotonin 、γ- Aminobutyric acid and oxytocin ” These substances , They can not only relieve stress , It also stops the brain from responding to stress , Reduce stress hormones in the body , A relaxing response that produces a healing effect . Get these substances , Is an effective strategy to improve the mood .

So how do we get these substances that can improve our mood ? It's also very simple , The American Psychological Association found that , The following activities can obviously improve the mood :

exercise .

meditation , yoga .

read , Listen to the music .

With family , Go for a walk .

Prayer or religious activity .

After adding this background knowledge , Let's analyze the situation at the beginning of the article , And try to develop some feasible strategies .

First , We can see , In this scenario , The goals set are too large and distant , When it takes time , You will find that the target is still far away , At this point, I doubt myself , It can lead to stress , So it's easier to be seduced by the outside world , And now there are ways to be happier , will " be overcome by one 's feelings " Go ahead and do it . I feel guilty after I finish it , remorse , Put yourself under pressure again , Now set another goal , After contentment , In the process of implementation, we encountered setbacks .....

So in the face of this scenario , We can develop the following strategies :

1. Set goals that are more practical , The goal is as small and challenging as possible , It makes it easier to be sure of yourself .

2. Announce your commitment to the public , for example : What can't you do at what time , If you do , How to punish yourself .

3. If you break some promises , Don't blame yourself , This is not the end of the world , Try to accept your imperfections ( Accepting yourself ), At the same time, think about whether your goals are too harsh , If there is , Try to change , And do it .

4. When you're down , Understand what makes you really happy ! Go to sports , To meditate , Don't let dopamine dominate you .

5. Try to meditate before bed .

thank you


Reference material :

1.《 Self-control 》 Kelly • Magnegal , Wang cenhui . link .

2.《 reflection , Fast and slow 》 Daniel • Kahneman (Daniel Kahneman) Hu Xiaojiao Li Aimin . link .

3.《 See you later 》 Motivation in Hangzhou . link .

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